Thursday, December 19, 2013

An epiphany that brought light to my life. (Women need to Love there Fellow Women)

There was a time when I Caught myself comparing ME to the next chick...
Our outfits, our hair, etc... I even found myself becoming upset & competing if I felt hers was better than mine, or when her concert tickets were better.

Then there came the time when I realized... Me & THAT girl, were in two different lanes. She has her story just like I have mine.

Everything that's meant for her isn't meant for me & Vice versa. That fast lane fly girl life just isn't what God had built me for. I realized that hey my boobs might not be huge, my eyes may not be grey or hazel and my hair may not flow down my back. My shoes and clothes may not be as fly as the next... & That's Ok!

When I realized the whole hanging out/ dating an athlete whose conversations weren't about sh*t but cars clothes & ho's just wasn't enough for me. I started desiring an intellectual someone on the lines of an MLK or an Obama.

But the best feeling was when I actually became COMFORTABLE with that fact, when I embraced it. That's when I found a new side of myself.

See for so long I was fighting the fact that I was different from everyone else... The fact that God made me a soulful & spiritual person, a deep individual, somewhere on the playing field with a Lauryn Hill or an Eryka Badu... The devil enjoyed watching me try and make myself something I could never be.

I became so lost in what God had given her that I hadn't even realized that God gave me gifts to that I'd end up appreciating far more than the aforementioned. He made me artistically beautiful, he built me for a different reason, a different mission then he had built those girls for.

It was when I realized this that I began to truly know what "Self Love" meant. I started walking taller, taking my writing more seriously, I started more actively pursuing my dreams... I became more confident not through embracing who I was.

Now a couple years later I can find myself in the same room with those girls that I use to compete with, that I used to feel lesser around. And not only do I find myself no longer competing or feeling the least bit insecure, I've found myself embracing these women, learning their stories, learning from them, and teaching them as well.

I found that those same insecurities I had lived in some of these women also, most of them. The confidence I now displayed in just being comfortable in who i was, made some of these same women feel insecure.

Did that make me feel better? NO! it made me want to and at times if a conversation got that deep tell them "Your beautiful in so many ways beyond just your looks" This realization now has these women coming to me for encouragement, for advice... and complementing me on how secure I am with just being me.

That something that made me different, that made people say I was weird is now the same thing so many people appreciate about me.

All that said,

As women we have to stop competing with one another & talking about each other... We have to realize that in today's society we all have the same struggles and the same insecurities and the answer doesn't lie in Plastic surgery, in being the baddest b*tch in the club, it lies within YOU... In being yourself whoever that may be! In finding your mission, your purpose.

I don't know how I figured that out so young, but when i figure out how I got it right, I wanna help other women get it right. I wanna help build women up instead of tearing them down because after all, these women are the Mothers of our future generations and those to come.

-Just a thought

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Just a Real Life Thought ....

When I die, I wanna leave behind more than a Facebook, Instagram, & Twitter account.... I wanna be remembered by More than a you'll be missed, Damn R.I.P Gabby, and a Tombstone...

I wanna leave behind a legacy, an empire, Inspiration....
I wanna be remembered by my Music, poetry, writing, by the way I hopped over hurdles and overcame obstacles all while wearing a smile.

It's funny because my family gets so touchy when i tell them, I want my funeral to be a pink celebration.... To serve Patron shots for the tears. lol (seriously)

People don't like to talk about death or communicate what they'd like in the case they may die "Unexpectedly"... I've come to the conclusion it's because people fear the inevitable. The fact that, this life will one day end. We may die young & violently, or grow old and sick, and then wither away.

I don't fear it, I embrace it because We all owe God a death, it's just a matter of when, where, and how he wants it.

I know that our souls... they'll go on.
And the thought that one day we'll be free and not have to wake up dealing with Life situations, work, pain, Drama... to know that one day the constant fight of life will end.... that soothes me. & to know that God will decide when it ends for who and when, well that soothes me even more.

In the mean time I push forward trying my hardest not to take life to seriously, being careful not to become tainted by the negative energy surrounding me...

I try and live everyday like it's my last, loving people and embracing the things in life that we so often pass by... the way the wind blows the trees, the way that new couple looks at each other so deeply in love, The sunlight peaking through the clouds... Small things, These things make me smile, they give me hope.

They make me feel that somehow, amongst all the evil and terrible things beyond our control... God is watching, he is present, he just wants us to see him in the midst of it all and realize that this life Means something & it's all going to make sense one day.


Monday, June 24, 2013

A Poem I wrote a couple years ago... Simple but deep... Analyze this

 A Nice Approach

MOve with the clouds, slowly but surely,
cut them loose like a theif... if theyre not moving maturely.

BReak it down like a branch, when it doesnt make sense,
keep that dog on a leash if you dont have a fence!

BUild it up like a temple... if u feel that its right,
stay dry like the desert, IT'll be alright.

DRain it like a pipe... when it starts to leak,
be aware like a guard when they start to speak.

HOld it down like restraining... someone gone mad,
forget it like the wind.,. and breeze on past.

EMbrace it like a person... whom you desire to have,
ATtend it like a bar and open a tab.

breathe it like its the last breath u may ever take,
treat it like a habit... that u dont wanna shake!

APply it like that lotion... that u love to use,
and then wear it like your favorite pair of shoes!

LIve life like a puzzle, find the spot meant for your piece...
and when you find it you know, cause it presses in with ease...

BE mighty like a lion... til the day that you die!
THen take off like a rocket... and go beyond that blue sky!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A summertime update on Gabby Hart... Pros vs. Cons

Just thinking about my new schedule and how disconnected it is making me with my usual world...

I'm working at the station Sun-Thursday 11p.m. to 7a.m.... When I get off I handle some business and then get to bed around 9a.m., I sleep til about 5 or 6p and then wake up, cook dinner, chill a little bit, and then I'm right back to work... & I've been bar-tending on Friday nights so I only have Saturday off.

Cons- I'm sleep during the day.... I'm at work during the night & everyone know I am a night owl & I LIVE for summer nights!!

Pros- I can still go to happy hours if I wanted

Cons- i can't get drunk at happy hours

Pros-- I'm not drinking as much, I don't have really anytime to get into my usual summertime trouble ... or to spend money becasue I'm either sleep or woke. I get Paid Time Off.

Cons-- I won't be drinking as much, and I won't have time to get in trouble!! lol jk jk
 When school starts back it'll be super hard because I'll be at work 11p-7a ... taking classes from 9a-3p going home and going straight to sleep and then waking up at 11p to do it all over... There goes my social life.... knowing me I'll find  way to hang out tho :-/

Pros-- this is my last year of school, and after I will be able to focus solely on work, reporting, finishing my book and demo tape...
It will keep me out of trouble & make time fly faster... I can take time off every now & then & I'll appreciate things so much more because of all the hard work I'll be doing.
And I have Friday night & Saturday night off...

So I'd just like to say That I am Thankful for social media... because I would feel so distant from all my friends & loved ones if it weren't for Facebook, Twitter, instagram... I can check up on everyone and everything... and share pictures and how my day went and communicate w/ my friends and family. It makes me feel a lot better.

I am thankful to have a career, I am looking forward to moving up and doing bigger and better things... I am happy right now all my hard-work is paying off finally, it's a great feeling... I finally don't have to have 2-jobs, I can finally relax...

I caught myself thinking and contemplating on my next move to become who I want to be & I had to tell my self "Gabby,... Stop it, just enjoy where your at for a moment... You can breathe gabby, You can Breathe!!" & after saying that to myself at-least a dozen times, it hit me... and it felt so surreal!! I almost cried.... How can I complain.. I'm blessed, & I have a mind that focuses on nothing but progress a bitter sweet thing, as is life.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Don't Judge Me By My Bright Nails...

Once Upon a time there was a girl.... Who always smiled, always wore bright colors, and had nails that changed color, size, and shape more often  then most people change their undergarments.

Once upon a time she was judged based on her outer appearance and her cool demeanor as ... Young, Naive, Preppy, stuck up, quirky, a know it all... etc.

This young lady had flaws but only the people closest to her knew these flaws.... she masked them well in every other setting.

So the people closest to her judged her based upon her flaws. The people who didn't know her judged her based upon her bright nails which actually to them was a flaw, because it was unprofessional, or to ethnic, or not traditional... some people turned there noses up at her.
Either way it went, this girl was judged and not for who she was but for everything she wasn't.

But there was something about this girl... something that people just couldn't figure out.
She was determined, she started w/ a shitty childhood and teenage life so it made her outlook different, brighter, she was always happy just because compared to where she came from, everything was wonderful to her.... and everyday, almost impossibly quick things just continued to get better in her life, she continued to slowly but surely move up the ladder...

Those around her didn't understand, well at least those that judged her for who she wasn't ... How could she be so lucky? her nails so bright... how does she keep getting breaks in life? Why is she so lucky!!! they were upset.... people closest to her jealous!!

What these people didn't realized is this girl wasn't lucky... there's no such thing as "Luck" but there is a such thing as being prepared.... and God gave her nothing until she was prepared to take them on.

This girl had been chosen by God  a long time ago, it was her destiny to accomplish great things...
And even though no one around her didn't understand.... what she understood and what helped herb through everything, that it was also her destiny to be misunderstood, and judged, and so low and defeated that she had no choice but to rise up....

This girl was destined for great things, and every doubter, every person that talked about her, fueled her flame a little more ... and each time she went a little bit further.

This girl went on to touch lives & do great things.... & She lived Happily Ever After.

& everyone who doubted her or tried to bring her down, are sitting somewhere right now with there mouths opened, thinking about how badly they treat her, or how much they thought she would fail... saying "Damn, That Girl Is On Fire!!"

So next time instead of judging and thinking of yourself higher than anyone else, try and help them or encourage them. & remember... you should never judge a girl by her flaws or her style because one day that style might catch on, and she might just end up being better than you ever imagined.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Summer Time Fine!

Well I'm finally finished with finals and final papers. Summer break? I think so!!

I got the job at NewsChannel5 as the new overnight assignment desk editor.... No college degree, no prior experience, and I'm still in a top 20 market. Even though I wanna be a reporter it is a GREAT start for me. Words can't even express how happy I was when I found out. It's been a long time coming, like a bless in a check. :)

Let see what else, I started looking at new apartments already, I have one in mine that is so DOPE, you could snort it! <<< lol... I'm going to upgrade,  now that I have a new car, I can move somewhere farther... aka, the suburbs :)

I graduate next may, this summer I'm gonna focus a lot on finishing my book, 10 chapters in I think it's a reasonable goal to have it finished and edited by the time I graduate.... So a lot of time by the lake I'll be spending.  That is the most important thing to do project wise.
Then I am going to focus on my music... shopping songs, studio time.. etc....
everything just seems to be panning out.

Theres alot of stuff I'd like to see change, not just with me but with those closest to me also...
There's a lot of things i still have left to do, I'm still beginning... But in due time

Right now I'm just going to enjoy the moment and live like nothing in the world is wrong....
Everything is just "Summer Time Fine!" :)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Pictures are worth 1000 Words.... So no words are neccessary for me to tell you how my internship has been going... Check out these photos! It's A Photo Shoot! :)

                                            Me & Reporter Cedra Mayfield on Her last day in Cleveland
                                                 Hanging out talking politics with Cedra Mayfield
                                                       Having Dinner With Cedra Mayfield

                                      My First Live center hit.
                                              The Good Morning America Newsroom crew

                                                     Stand up on downtown construction

                                             Ran into Stephanie from Channel 3 ... she was very nice

                                                         On Your Side

                                                         Posing in the news van before my standup

                                                 The whole crew.... Good morning Cleveland

                                                                My first time in front of the camera...

                                           Me & Kristin Byrnes in strongsville covering the strike....

                                    Me and Reporter Kristin Byrnes... as an intern I even learn self defense! :)

                                            I Love our GMC Team!!! :)

                                              Ran into channel 3's Pamela Osbourne ...

                                           Covering the The strongsville Teachers Strike

                                          At the new thistledown Racino....